Category: Dating and Relationships
Hi all,
The title says it all. I've seen tidbits of advice throughout the boards on this subject, but I wanted to create a place specifically for it. I'm sure many of you have found, as I have, that your lack of sight presents an obstacle when trying to determine when someone may be attracted to you and when trying to convey the same solely with the use of body language. I can't see the signals that are commonly sent by sighted people. Hell, I probably don't even know what half of them are. lol. As such, I don't know how to send them either. I consider myself a witty person, which I can definitely use to my advantage, and I have a few other ideas, but I want to learn the subtle approaches I'm currently missing out on. I feel that my normal straightforward approach would be a bad idea in this type of situation because of the awkwardness that could result. I mean, suppose I go up to someone I think is hot and tell them so with little to no preamble, only to learn that they're taken, not into women, or otherwise unavailable... not to mention that unfortunately a lot of people are put off by a straightforward approach.
Has anyone found any solutions to these obstacles? Thanks!
Namaste,
Becky
To be honest, I actually use the straight forward approach. It's helped that most of the men whom I've been with I met off dating sites, so they had a good idea that I wanted to have sex with them at the very least. But I still took the time to get to know them, before I decided on whether I really wanted them in bed or not. All that said, I think if it's a natural attraction with, say, someone whom you know at work/school or just around, it would probably be a good idea to see if maybe they want to go out for a cup of coffee or to lunch. Get to know them and then, when you find yourself in a nice quiet situation, mention your attraction and see what happens. There are ways of doing it short of just saying "hey, I want you". lol That way, you could find out whether they're taken or not. But if you've taken the time to know them, then their status should be known to you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't help with the body language but I've just never used it, aside from the obvious things like putting my hand on my man's hand or my arm around his shoulder and having the same done to me. But, of course, we were already together at that point. My best advice would be to watch what a potential partner has to say. Sometimes, he/she will be direct and sometimes, he/she will be more subtle, but if someone likes you, you're bound to know.
If you're looking for a guy, men are pretty easy to figure out. It's not complicated like women ... don't look at me that way! look at me this way! sort of thing. Most men would be flattered by a straightforward approach rather than the constant beating around the bush / trying to figure out what's meant by what.
Just my thoughts, as, well, I are one.
Honestly, when making a judgement about whether someone is attracted to me or not, it's sort of a combination of things; add up the clues til you think you have a good idea. That being said, here're a couple things. First, I'm pretty sure this one's fairly obvious, but most people if they're attracted to you, they just act slightly different. Often it's in the tone of their voice, how they greet you etc.
Next, while this varies from person to person, if someone is attracted to you, they'll often make physical contact with you. I don't necessarily mean anything big, just touch your shoulder a second as they talk, stand in slightly closer proximity than they might otherwise. But this sort of thing can really depend on the person, and mamy not be able to be read until you've known them for a bit.
A final thing that I read somewhere, that I sorta had figured out in the back of my mind, but not really thought about it til I read it, often times if someone is attracted to you, they will mirror you somewhat. You move in a certain way, they will do the same. You move slightly in a certain direction they'll follow. It's an unconscious movement, and I'm not sure I'm really explaining it well. Maybe someone else can do a better job of explaining it.
Those are a couple things that just come to mind; not sure they're of any help, but there you go.
No matter what they say, men like straight-forward women. They like a go getter. They wanna girl who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Doesn't matter who you are, ladies. You're more likely to hook one if your blunt. Keep it short and sweet. "What's your number Sweetheart?" Usually, they're stunned for at least the first few seconds, but they play it cool and write it down on a napkin. "I'll call you." I don't care exactly what you say or what you do, but any woman can be up front with what makes her mouth water. Men like that.
Men, same thing. If you like a woman, quit acting like an 8th grade boy with a crush. Women like bluntness too, none of that pick-up line shit. It doesn't work. It might make us laugh, but not think you're smoothe. It makes you look like a cocky high school boy.
I hope this helps someone, or at least makes them realize what they done wrong. haha
Jessie
Thanks guys! I will keep all of this in mind.
welcome hun. :) I'm nice in general I reckon. hahaha
I agree. Shy guys get on my nerves. Just say what you want. It will be yes or no either way and no switching no matter which way you choose.
There ya go, somebody get's it. I don't like when guys just give me a look. I look back at him, except I usually give him a "What do you want," or a dirty "F you" look. hahaha, I like it when a guy comes up to me and says "Hey Baby, you wanna go out some time" or something like that. I hate when they use pickup lines too. Just the other day a man came up to me and said "Do you work at Subway, kuz you just gave me a footlong." oops, lol I forgot, virgin ears. haha, all I'm sayin is, guys need to just come out with it. Don't be too pushy though. not good. lol
Jessie
Any strange guy who came up to me would never get me anyway. I don't do one-night stands, and no, talking to me for a few hours won't cut it either. The nerve of some people!
Yeah guys who come up and say "I want nooky" are full of shit. I'd say "Cool go get some from any slut who gives a damn." I will, however, go on a date with a nice guy who actually knows how to talk to a woman and knows how to get what he wants at the same time. haha